Mualimah Salma Khalfan Alawi
User Pic
Name: Mualimah Salma Khalfan Alawi
Age: NIL
Location: Qom, Iran
Expertize: Family matters, persoanl concerns eg depression, youth issues and spirituality.
Question:I have to make two decisions regarding whether I will choose to spend time with Christians.

The first is with my Mother whom I live with, as she has planned a leisure trip tomorrow. The area that we may most likely go is by the water of a lake, where people will likely be wearing very little clothes. I also am not sure whether she will want to go on a boat ride where there will almost certainly be music playing. If I do not go, she will likely go by herself. The drive will be quite long as well. While she is my mother, it feels as though she has taken on many other roles in my life being that she received minimal assistance from my family in raising me and my brothers. Could this have any effect on increasing the rights granted to her through fiqh? And will it be bad akhlaq to decline the invitation?

Another situation I have is that a former friend who I met before I became Muslim, who has asked me to meet with him and a mutual female aquaintance. I am not quite sure if this meeting will be of any real benefit to anyone. From the perspective of fiqh and akhlaq, would this be recommended if there is no guarantee that my mind will not float into thoughts of lust?

Ayatollah:Sistani

Answer: Islam has greatly emphasized on the rights of parents especially the rights and a mother, whether she be a Muslim or non Muslim.
It is only at the expence of disobedience towards Allah's commandments that a child is allowed to disobey his or her parents and that too should be done with utmost politeness.
One should always keep their moral behaviour and show warmth and kindness towards them even if they're harsh. Such a policy can change the outlook of a parent about their child even if they seem to disregard each others views generally speaking.
You are definitely facing a predicament on how to spend your time with two people who dont share the same faith like you.
If accompanying both of these people will lead to sin and you can stop that by excusing yourself politely, then it is incumbent that you do so.
If however your mother will take it to heart and feel much remorse, then you can explain her first about why you don't want to go, and if it were not for the music and other forbidden sins, then you would certainly accompany her in the trip.
If she still feels very bad about this that you feel it will completely spoil your relationship in the long run, then go along with her but at the same time try all you can do avoid sinning. You can do zikr and isteghfar ie remember Allah and ask for forgiveness when the music is heard, and lower your gaze when you see any one who is ill dressed and not Mahram ie lawful for you.
As for your friends, you can simply excuse yourself if you have to take your mother, and if not, you will still have to think of.anything but to let go off the probable awaited sin of falling into lust.

Remember they don't have any right as such over you and all the more so since they are non Muslims.
For humanity sake, you can still show your good behaviour and keep your relations with them but never at the expence of your faith.

Remember, the Almighty Lord is always besides you when you do the right thing.
Question:I have a very difficult time concentrating during Salah. I always think about other things and even forget that I am praying. What do you recommend for me to increase my concentration and focus on Allah SWT during salah?

Ayatollah:Khamenei

Answer: Salat is the cream of all our actions and worship.
Its good that you are concerned about it and want to make it better.
Ulama (schoalars) suggest a list of things to help making ones concentration better in their salat.
I will list a few and you can research on the rest.
1. Perform your wuzu with concentration. There is a short dua to be recited before every part of wuzu that one performs. This should help a great deal whislt we do wuzu.

2. Perform the recommended acts before salat eg. Reciting azan and iqama ( the call of prayer), brush your teeth, put perfume, give a small sadaqa ,wearing clean clothes, combing your hair etc.

3. In your daily activities try making an intention that you are doing everything even wordly for the sake of Allah and this way your prayers too will be rich with concentration.

4. Read a few books on line eg philosophy of prayer, meaning and commentary of salat by Agha Mohsin Qaraati. His books are simple yet profound.

5. Try to inculcate in yourself that whatever action you make in salat is the most important one, therefore all the actions will be done with concentration inshAllah.

Follow these rules with Tawakkul (trust in Allah) and tawassul (asking help through the Ahlbayt a.s). After all, in every worship we also need the help of Almighty Allah through His chosen servants.
Question:Thanks a lot. Can you please tell what kind of music is allowed ?

Ayatollah:N/a

Answer: Salams.
I hope you will make it a point to read the book I mentioned. The music that is in complete harmony with our soul is recitation of the Holy Quran, Nawhas and Qasidas etc. Some music like war Music is also allowed because it makes the heart revolutionary and want to bring about a major change around the globe by defending the truth ie Islam.
You can start by listening to something like these and judge for yourself. Shaitan may instigate you by cheating you that they're not interesting as the songs you listened to, but trust me, he wants to lay that trap for you so that he can misguide you step by step. Be wise and don't let shaitan beguile you after you have sought for guidance.
InshAllah you will find utmost tranquility in the halal music and get closer to Allah.
Question:Are there any duas or amaal I can do to make my wife look the most beautiful in my eyes and for me to love her whole heartedly. i really want to only focus on her and want to love her fully.

Ayatollah:Wahid Khorasani

Answer: There is no dua as such mentioned, because Allah has preplanned this love to enter after marriage as a gift ready between the spouses. It is only the fault of each or both that spoil this through their actions. To make it appear strong again is to polish the soul with good actions and mercy and care for each other. Search for it and you will see it. There is a verse of the Holy Quran that says,
And those who say, "Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us an example for the righteous." Furqan :74
This verse was recited in the qunoot of the prayer of the Holy Prophet (s.a.w) everyday. This will surely make a difference in your married life if you are steadfast in reciting it.
Try to recite it with your family together whilst raising your hands above your heads as suggested by ulema.
Encourage her by requesting her to present herself the way you like maybe through explaining her about your choice.
If you don't feel the way you want or expect to, ignore it and keep on trying and praying, im certain things will change because of your goodwill and intention.
Your actions and kindnesses will make her glow with the inner beauty which keeps growing and never fades like the outer beauty. This is the principle in life, all are attracted to the inner beauty of a person rather than the outer.
InshAllah you will both experience and share this deep love and devotion towards each other.
Question:I am getting bad thoughts for everyone and I am not able to control my brain of thinking what should I do I didnt even cried on 10th Moharram masyeb because of all bad thoughts I don't know what to do

Ayatollah:Sistani

Answer: Being aware of your thoughts is a very good way to start controlling them.
Scholars suggest reciting
'la hawla wa la Quwwata illa billahil Aliyyil Azeem' to be recited everyday after the morning prayer and night prayer seven times before which every lahawla, one should also recite Bismillahirrahmanirraheem.

InshAllah if you hate these recurring thoughts and try your best to control them with dua and struggle on your part, Allah will surely help you overcome them in no time.
Keep yourself busy with healthy activities and also exhaust your energy with lots of exercise and healthy sleep. Eat the right foods which is a balanced diet for your body temperament. You can search on that for youself.
Be in good company who remind you of Allah. Listen to good lectures online and try your best to shed tears in privacy. Be sure you will. The fact that you couldn't cry for imam Hussein a.s doesn't mean you dont love him, rather your concern shows your love for Imam Hussein a.s and he himself will help you if you ask for everything through his wasila inshAllah.
Read Quran before sleeping even if it be a page with the translation.
InshAllah your mind will have good food for thought and you will realize there's so much to life than just wasting it on evil sinful thoughts.
Total 64 Questions 1 2 3 4 5 6 7