Mualimah Salma Khalfan Alawi
User Pic
Name: Mualimah Salma Khalfan Alawi
Age: NIL
Location: Qom, Iran
Expertize: Family matters, persoanl concerns eg depression, youth issues and spirituality.
Question:Please tell me a tested amal I can do to get married.
Also I came across this hadith ـ رسول الله (ص): لو دعا لك إسرافيل وجبريل وميكائيل وحملة العرش وأنا فيهم ما تزوجت إلا المرأة التي كتبت لك.

The Prophet (SAWA) said, ‘Even if the angels Israfil, Gabriel, Mika’il, the bearers of the Throne, and I among them were to pray for you, you would not marry other than the woman that was written for you.’[Kanz al-`Ummal, no. 501]

How do we find that someone who is written for us? Does this mean that the age at which we get married is also predestined? Then why does Islam encourage young age marriages, when this is not in our hands especially girls?


Ayatollah:Sistani

Answer: Everything that happens to us in our lives is predestined. However, that does not mean that we need to sit and wait to see what happens, rather, we should do all our best to make a good thing happen to us and leave the result on Allah. This effort on our part is part of the causes that brings about the final effect and result.
Also you should remember that a thing might be predestined by Allah but certain other causes can divert that eg through praying and sadqa, good relations to the relatives ie sile rehmi can divert many tribulations or diversities to occur in our lives.
Keep on praying and do your best to take out charity everyday, keep well with ypur kith and kin and never leave praying to Allah. InshAllah you will get the right partner of your choice with the right criteria which is a man of faith and righteous deeds with the right ideology.
I would suggest you to read sura Maryam and practice and apply the verses in your daily life. You will see in no time you will be blessed with an ideal spouse who will bring you a generation of leaders inshAllah.
Question:Lately, I have been very detached from Imam Mahdi atfs and my remembrance of him is void of any love or sadness of separation. It has been a major concern of mine for quite a few days because every time his name is mentioned, I don't feel that burning sensation that should be in the heart of a true shi'a. Is there anything that I can do to remember the Imam of our time more often and get closer to him?

Ayatollah:Sistani

Answer: Your concern for this feeling already shows the love of Imam Mahdi for you. It could be a test from Allah who wants you to keep on trying harder.
Some of the ways that scholars of Islam suggest are such as, reciting dua e Ahad every morning, giving sadqa for his well being, and infact, giving all your good actions as hadiya to Imam, and last but not least, being united with the Imam in all His actions eg praying on time the way he does, mourning for Imam Hussein a.s and so forth. Be careful in evaluating your actions day in day out and see what else is missing in your book of deeds.
If you are sincere in this which inshAllah you are, then it'll be in no time when you will begin to feel that burning sensation again and it will keep on growing i can promise you that!
Be sure to pray for all the Shia to get these great feelings too, that way, our imam will have enough companions to make his reapprearance happen soon inshAllah.
Question:My parents are currently looking for a suitable spouse for me and insist I speak to any potential spouse before getting to a decision. This is the case even from the man’s side as everyone thinks we should get to know each other before making such a big decision. I think along the same lines too; however, I don’t feel like it’s right to engage in casual conversations with the opposite sex and I’m afraid I may be doing something wrong. Please advise me as to what to do and how best to act in such a situation.

Ayatollah:Sistani

Answer: Its a good thing to try getting to know your potential spouse by talking to him with the permission of your parents ofcourse, but there are limits to this.
All the experts of law confirm to the fact that if the intention is truly for marriage purposes and not one that leads to any kind of lust or desire through words or actions is allowed.
You should also remember that one can never be able to really know a person as well unless one lives with a person under a roof, or even when one gets committed like reciting a temporary marriage seegha so that one could freely talk.
The solution is either be careful in what you converse by not going too far in your relationship through your words and expressions, or request for a temporary Aqd of Nikah to be recited so you can just talk and get to know each other. If at all you try freely conversing, you might fall in a forbidden act which is a sin.
You can remind your potential spouse of what Islam says about relationships with Na mahram before the Nikah and get to know him a little through a couple of.meetings and maybe asking your questions through media or something without getting carried away. In the process you can know if he holds it important to follow the shairat too. If you are careful, inshAllah you will not fall into a forbidden act.
Question:I belong from a die hard Sunni family and it have been over a year now that I have been closely inspecting Shiasm and it's root and everything and it has attracted me in all manners. Because everything has logic behind everything. Imam Hussain (A.S) has inspired me in every single manner so has lady Zainab (S.A)
I still lack a lot of knowledge about the Ahlul Bayt. I want to embrace this faith which I do but in extreme secret because if I disclose it nobody will support on this and they will cut all my ties linked to the internet the only source I have to obtain my knowledge.

I follow shiasm as much as I can in private for example I do wudhu the Shia way.
Because it's a very small act and nobody will ever notice that, I listen to scholars but that's my limit and I cannot exceed beyond it.
I tried so hard to think and find a way to escape from home and listen to majlis but I couldn't however I listened to them online.

And if you ask me to try to convince my family then that just can't seem to happen because they are so fixated on the fact that shia's are kafir

They start to list down so many misconceptions about them that blood starts to boil because that's not true and saying such things against the Ahlul Bayt makes me want to cry because I'm totally helpless

And things are getting simply worse as each day passes by. I do wudhu the Shia way yet pray in a Sunni way
Because if I pray with my hands open i will only be diverting attention towards me.

How do I get them to love Mola Ali (A.S) ?
How do I get them to accept this fact that it's Ali (A.S) and not Ali (R.A) ?
How do I get them to accept that (A.S) is used not JUST for prophet's and angels?
How do I get them to believe that mourning for Imam Hussain is not a crime?
How do I get them to believe that mourning doesn't last for 3 days?
How do I get them to believe that Shia aqeeda is not out of the boundary of islam and calling out anyone Kafir is a major sin?

Ayatollah:Sistani

Answer: Welcome to the Shia faith. If one truly wants to practice Islam, he will surely see the truth in the followers of Ahl bait (a.s). It is a creed where one wants to encourage unity between all the Muslims. Whether they be Shia or any other sect for that matter.
It is a matter of Honor that you're trying all your best as per performing wuzu and other practices according to the Shia way. Infact if you read more about this, you will see perfect logic behind it too and of course with proof from the right sources like Quran and traditions of the Holy Prophet (s.a.w) and his household.

I recommend you to read books on the site, Al islam.org library. Books like then i was guided, Ask those who Know, peshawar nights etc. Theyre from authors who converted from sunni to shia faith. You will get all your answers and more of you study these books well inshAllah.
Try as much as possible to continue your research and practice it in privacy as much as you can unless you know that your life will be in danger, then you can practice Taqiyya which is hiding your faith in public.
Well you say your family will never accept shiism and theyre die hard followers of their own creed, maybe you should try showing your best behaviour with them in a manner that would impress them to be more attracted to you and maybe tell them on the sideline that all Muslims should.be united for one. Also the fact that the true shia would never talk ill about the sunni. Infact you can take the example of revolutionary leaders like Ayatullah Khumeini who always insisted on unity between all the Muslims. Remind them the sayings of the Holy Prophet about Imam Ali a.s and tell them politely that how comes the Holy Prophet himself loved H. Ali in such a compassionate way and his followers would do otherwise? Radhiallahu ( may Allah be pleased with him) and Alaihi salam (may peace of Allah be with him) should not make much of a difference if they come to.know the status of this great leader.
Maybe you can start by asking whilst pretending to wonder about the questions after researching and giving them food for thought. If they have some unreasonable answers, you can tell them your opinion in a manner that they should not think you've changed your faith. Do as much as you can in subtle ways and leave the rest on Allah. Your efforts will pay for sure. Pray for them and ask Allah to guide them. When you feel bad about what they're saying ill against Shiism, Ask the Almighty to forgive them. Slowly itll take effect.

Do tawassul to the Ahl.bait and ask for their goodness in every way which is what the Shia creed teaches us, ie wanting all the Muslims the blessings and goodness like what they themselves have. Now that you have the light in your heart, I'm sure you also wants your near and dear ones to share this light.
In the end it is only Allah who can give them the Hidaya and it is your work to prepare the grounds by doing dua and acting in the best manner near them.
Total 64 Questions 1 2 3 4 5 6 7