Mualimah Salma Khalfan Alawi
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Name: Mualimah Salma Khalfan Alawi
Age: NIL
Location: Qom, Iran
Expertize: Family matters, persoanl concerns eg depression, youth issues and spirituality.
Question:Of course, as a wife you must seek to please your husband in all ways: beautifying ones self etc, but how do I do this when I’m strict with my hijab around non-mahram?

Ayatollah:N/A

Answer: With Allah's unlimited grace, we try all we can to advice our brothers and sisters in faith and earnestly pray for the goodness of everyone and the society as a whole inshallah.
Islam is a perfectly balanced religion without any extremity or negligence and emphasizes that too.
You can request your future spouse if you can stay in another house nearby and mention the reason which is clear that living with nan mahram can be very difficult sometimes.
If he doesn't accept and has all the valid reasons, there is no dead end and you will still be able to practice your hijab and at the same time live up to your husband's expectations especially if you explain him of the limitations of living with a joint family. Taking to him beforehand will prepare his mind of what he will face.
You will of course have your private room to give the rights to your husband and beautify yourself too.
Near your extended family, you can be polite and respectful and wear simple clothing. Never get too close to.your brother in laws at the expense of your faith.
If he doesn't agree to this, then think carefully of the type of spouse you have selected before entering into marriage. Being a hauzawi, you must be aware of the values of our religion which only wants us to lead a perfect life, thus you must have a spouse who is compatible to your thinking and lifestyle also.
InshAllah Allah will help you go about this.
Question:I have a question with regards to having food at a non-muslim’s place.
Many of us face or have faced situations where our friends, colleagues, acquaintances etc had invited us over at their place for lunch/dinner.
So we know that Islam is very particular about halal/haraam food, and in certain cases we may not know whether the food that we are having or are about to have is haraam or halal, or if it has been prepared by a hygienic person or not.
My question is that can we eat at a non-muslim’s place if there comes a point where if we don’t eat, the host may feel bad about us rejecting to have food with them because of them being non-muslims?.

Ayatollah:Sistani

Answer: God has created man in a way that whatever he eats and drinks has an influence on his mind, body and soul. 
Haram food effects the soul in way that he won't be able to do any good actions.
As far as eating in gatherings from a non Muslim is concerned, one should be careful to avoid it and try their best to excuse themselves. Although however, if one were to ask Can we eat food cooked by a non Muslim when we do not know whether or not it is clean? According to Ayatullah Seestani, the answer is that a Muslim is allowed to eat any food made by a person whose faith and religion is not known to him, no matter whether that person touched it with wetness or did not touch it, provided that he does not know or is not sure that the food consists of what is forbidden to him.
Also It is permissible to eat the food and it is not necessary for the Muslim to question the person who prepared the food about his beliefs or disbeliefs, or whether or not he had touched the food, even if that inquiry is very convenient and natural for one who wants to ask.
If he knows for sure that they are disbelievers, then it becomes haram for one to consume the food however difficult it may for them to convey to their hosts and in such cases, one has tp either tell them with politeness or find an excuse not to attend the gatherings.
Question:I am a sister striving to become one a sincere & devout follower of the Imam of our time عج. but unfortunately i feel as if i constantly fail him عج through my sins & intentions, & i am honestly seeking advice on how one can attain the pleasure of the Imam & eventually become a soldier of his عج army Insha’Allah. Do you have any advice?


Ayatollah:Kamal Al Haydari

Answer: The feeling of wanting to get more connected to our Imam of the time shows that He too is yearning and praying and guiding you towards that. We all fail sometimes to carry out our duties perfectly but that would not mean that we should stop struggling for the same. After trying your best to have sincere intentions and noble actions whilst refraining from the unlawful, you will feel more enlightened and the Almighty Allah will teach you Himself of how to go on further towards the path of perfection.
You can recite Dua of Ahad every morning and make an intention that whatever good you do should be as counted as Hadiya for the Imam of our time.
Other than that, talk to the imam of our time like the one who is most dear and beloved to you and cherish to have those moments. You can talk in a normal way because he knows what goes on in the hearts of the believers.
Please do pray for all the momineen as well to get this connection such that they will be able to serve the imam just like what you want for yourself.
Be sure that your dua has already reached acceptance.
Question:Recently I've found myself in a terrible situation because I feel myself getting jealous of a friend of mine. And I feel terrible because I can feel it ruining our relationship. And I'm trying to not have these feelings towards her but I fail a lot of times. What can one do to avoid feeling like that. Any supplications one can do to ease this feeling?

Ayatollah:Sistani

Answer: Its good that you have come to realize this at least. Its one instinct that comes to all, and if it is progressed, it will go leaps and bounds and destroy ones faith
Therefore, this undesirable instinct must be curbed with all the force at the disposal of a person. It should not be allowed to flourish and grow. If the instinct of envy is allowed to persist, It will reach such proportions that fighting it out will not be possible.
The first thing you have to do is to inculcate in yourself that whatever your friend has, the giver of the blessings in only Allah and none else, least of it herself. Pray to Allah to bless you with better than that and be happy that Allah can bless a person to such an extent.
Don't ever wish that the blessings being taken away from her because that would mean you are taking in to the instinct of jealousy and making it grow. Don't let shaitan get the upper hand with this undesirable character trait.
Praise her in front of people so that you can share the happiness of her blessings. This is so remarkable an action that you will really begin to feel the happiness even if you did it half-hearted or pretentiously at first. The great thing that will come out of this is that Allah will grant you the same blessing and better than what your friend has inshAllah.
Question:My daughter of age (removed) and is a very pious young girl. Observed hijab and has never missed any of her wajibaat. She is acutely aware of Allah (swt)
She is starting develop her sexuality. It is confusing her to the point of making her feel she is “bad”. She told me that she wishes there was a way she could “communicate” with Allah and figure out how to stop it. She is withdrawing from hugging her friends or even me because she is afraid it might not be right.
I have tried explain to her that it normal to get these feeling due to hormonal changes and explained to her the difference between healthy/halal touch and touch that is not halal. Can you please help me how I can explain it better through Islamic perspective. Islamic perspective is the only that she feels comfortable with. I am afraid she might be headed towards depression and it is really worrying me and making me feel helpless. Your help will be greatly appreciated.

Ayatollah:Sistani

Answer: It seems like your daughter is in a state of confusion and needs help before things could get worse. Shaitan gets to youth who are pure hearted and practice their faith like your daughter is.
Now that you've tried to explain her and she is still confused, try showing her the right books to read and find out for herself. There are many books available on line specially in Al-islam.org like fiqhi laws for youth or exclusively for women and men etc. You can search and show her what books she can be enlightened with and then suggest that you discuss between yourselves. If you know of a good practicing lady in your community, try involving her also in the discussion without making it sound that you are nagging or advising your daughter too much.
Young people often like to discover things for themselves and then do they feel satisfied.
Inshallah with time you will see the change and of course with praying to Allah alongside.
Question:We are hoping, praying and planning on going for Hajj this year. My question is about the topic of getting periods during Hajj. My daughter is 16yrs old and gets her periods Alhamdulillah. What would happen if she gets her periods during hajj? Should she go on pills to stop her periods during that time?

Ayatollah:Sistani

Answer: Your daughter has come of age and if she has an opportunity to go for Hajj, it is the best chance for her to take it and she can control her period by taking appropriate pills. InshAllah she has a fruitful journey.
Question:I have a question that’s been bothering me for some time. I am 5 months pregnant Alhamdulilah and I haven’t prayed for maybe more than a month. I feel sinful and ashamed. I work out side and my body aches a lot. I feel extremely tired all the time and when I come home I just sleep. My back pain prevents me from standing for a long time. Is it permissible for me to pray sitting down?

Ayatollah:Sistani

Answer: According to traditions, a woman during pregnancy enjoys a great reward and her
rank is equal to that of a Martyr (Shaheed)
The Prophet (Peace be upon him) said:
“The reward of a woman, from the time of pregnancy until birth and breastfeeding is the same as the reward of one on the path of Allah, and if a woman leaves this world during that time because of the hardship and pains of birth, she has the reward of a martyr.” 
Keeping this in mind, you should be well aware that Allah expects you to be obedient to Him and do as much as possible to please Him and to earn His pleasure is but to your own benefit and perfection.
You have to see if you can withstand the pain without any repercussion, then stand and pray without prolonging it. If you think you cannot to that, you can do the qiyaam ( standing and reciting the hamd and sura) and rukoo while standing and sajda by sitting and keeping your head upon the turbah on a table or desk.
If you cannot stand and sit, then just sit and pray and do the sajda whilst sitting and keeping your head upon a table whilst doing the sajda. This is for you to decide how much you can bear the pain without any further repercussions like further pain.
Remember to at least start off to repay the qaza of the prayers left undone during the month you missed to pray. Feel blessed that Allah has guided you by reminding you of the importance of prayer through the guilt you have of having missed your prayers. Remind yourself that you have been missing the sweetest conversation and act in this world and be smart to get hold of it before its too late and shaitan gets a chance to overtake you. He doesn't want mankind to benefit from their lives nor does he want them to have the utmost pleasure. Prayers is one thing that if you make it with concentration, you will benefit and have deep satisfaction in your life as well as the life of your child to.be InshAllah.
Question:Kya maa baap k gunah bacho pe asar krte hai ??

Ayatollah:Sistani

Answer: Although every one comes on the earth on a clean slate and pure from all sins, but sometimes the parents do have a role in the future of their children specially if they have sinful lives and haven't repented and not tried to warn their children about the punishment of evildoings.
If parents have sinned but asked for repentance, then the children will have a better chance of being inclined towards the truth and be faithful. In both cases, the child when comes of age has a free will to choose between good and bad and although it becomes difficult to be on the right path for the children whose parents are sinful, it still isn't impossible.
Those whose parents have repented after sinning or are among the faithful ones are more inclined to be on the right path although they can always be misguided because of shaitan being our open enemy and the vicious self which moves us towards evil.
Children will face the consequences of their misguided parents but will not be accounted for their parent's sins.
A verse in the Holy Quran points out to this indirectly also stating the fact that not only is it the duty of parents to warn their children but also if they don't do so, then they will cause their children to also end up in the hell fire with a painful punishment.
The verse is in Sura Tahrim ayat 6 which says,
O you who have believe, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.
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