Please don’t be too hard on yourself.
1- It is natural that you will feel a sense of longing to it. When something is a part of your life then you quit it, then it’s natural to yearn for it.
2- As long as you try to be mindful, and when you do end up listening to it you genuinely feel bad and remorseful, Allah will forgive you. This indicates you have respect for Allah’s laws.
3- Continue making the effort to resist it. It is not easy, but Allah will help you. It’s a difficult trial, and over time you will better be able to avoid it and not interact with it.
4- See more spirituality to fill your soul. Give more time to Qur’an, Du’a and Nafila prayers. Think of Allah’s greatness. Thank Him for every blessing. Remind yourself that through God’s obedience, your soul will be infinitely blessed and in joy, and in the Hereafter you will have the company of the Prophet (s) and the Imams (a).
5- As soon you feel that quite excitement, take a break, say “La ilaha illa Allah” a few times, and ask Allah to protect you from it and its effects. This will significantly help Insha’Allah.