I feel like I’m losing iman slowly and I’m trying my best, but I don’t know what to do! You see ever since I was a kid my father would always torment my mother and hurt her emotionally. He always curses at her, pushes her out the way.

If anyone in the family (my siblings) tells him he’s wrong he gets really mad and curses them out. He then would give the silent treatment for weeks.

You see sayidna my father prays every day and never misses salah. Doesn’t engage in haram, and fasts every ramadan. He reads the Quran every day, reads books everyday.

I just don’t understand why he’s like this and Muslim which is making me lose faith somehwhat and it’s really hard. I pray every day that he will change and be a better father to us instead of giving the silent treatment and tormenting my mom, but everyday is the same thing. My father doesn’t work and sits at home all day, while my mother works, cooks, takes care of us, asks us if our studies are ok.

Even when my mom tries cooking for him, he doesn’t accept her food and tells her always I should have never married you and proceeds to curse her dead father. I have tried, along with my siblings, and my mother to engage with him in every way, but it always ends badly. He views him self as right in every way. And I want to respect him but I don’t know what to do if I have tried approaching him in many ways

by

It’s very unfortunate that he treats you all this way, especially your mother. Islam is not just praying and fasting. A good Muslims never treats his family like that. Islam is all about good Akhlaaq. May Allah guide him.

Some recommendations:

1- You have tried to engage with him in many different ways, but I’d still recommend you brainstorm and experiment with new ways to deal with him. Be creative. It’s possible that he had a rough upbringing and was emotionally abused when he was a child. Maybe he has emotional needs. Try to show him love and compassion and see what happens. Hug him, kiss him, say nice things to him, etc… Sometimes it works.

2- If nothing works, then try to avoid him as much as possible. Avoid anything that triggers him. Just say salam to him as him if he needs anything and keep a distance from him. That would reduce the toxic environment at home.

3- Don’t underestimate the power of Du’a. Continue praying Allah changes this situation and guides him.

I recommend the follow A’mal. They are effective:

1- Do sujud for several minutes each night and with a deep breath each time say: سبحان ربي الاعلى وبحمده (subhana rabbial a3la wa be7amdeh)

2- Before sleeping, say 100 times لا اله الا الله (la ilaha illa allah) and take a deep breath each time

3- Read this Du’a:

https://duas.mobi/amp/dua/worries

4- Read this Du’a 4 times a day:

“Allahomma inni atawajjahu ilayka bi nabiyyika nabiyyer-rahma wa ahle baytihi-lladheena khtartahom ala ilmin alal alameen. Allahomma dhallel li so'obataha wa huzunataha wakfini sharraha fa innakal kafil mo'afi wal ghalibol qaher."

5- Put the Qur’an on your heart and recite verse 82 of Sura al-Israa:
‎وَنُنَزِّلُ مِنَ الْقُرْآنِ مَا هُوَ شِفَاءٌ وَرَحْمَةٌ لِّلْمُؤْمِنِينَ

6- Read this Dua daily:
https://www.duas.org/Amn.htm

7- Everyday pray 2 rak’as like the morning prayer, then when done gift it to Imam Mahdi. Say O Allah I offer this prayer as a gift to Imam Mahdi. Then talk to Imam Zaman and ask him to help you with this situation. This prayer is very effective

8- After the morning prayer, but your hand on your heart and say 70 times يا فتاح (ya fatta7)