I have been feeling very preoccupied lately regarding my recent hijab. At first, I did not find the Hijab difficult, but as the time progresses, the challenges are slowly creeping in and getting worse, surprisingly. And Unfortunately I did not receive much support from my family and friends. I want to obey Allah to the best of my ability MORE THAN anything in this Dunya. His satisfaction is all that matters. But so does my sincerity in my everyday actions. I don’t feel any more pious with the hijab, considering I used to dress modestly prior to wearing one. I keep trying to read the verses of the Holy Quran that command Hijab, but even that is not helping in any way. As a matter of fact, Shaytaan is perhaps overcoming me in that area. I am reaching out to you to see if you can help convince me that covering of the hair is a commandment in it and of itself. Just as a disclaimer, please do not think I am planning to take my hijab off. I will never take it off, trust me. My intention behind this message is to appreciate the Hijab internally and to be as sincere as possible while observing it. I noticed that Suratul Nur verse 31 commands women to “draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty”. Please can you tell me, How did all the scholars come to agree that hair NEEDS to be covered when women at that time were ALREADY covering their hair. Don’t mind the CAPS lock I just want to emphasize some points. Why can’t we say that verse 31 is asking women to simply cover their bosoms (be modest in that sense) and not display their beauty in a flamboyant and inappropriate manner. Can you tell me, Why didn’t Allah swt command us to KEEP the khumar on AND THEN proceed to draw it over our bosoms? Allah swt sent that verse according to that context but what about our context in 2021? Sayed Mohammad do you see where I am coming from here? The context when I read it tells me something completely different. I am deeply curious to know what that verse would have looked like if they didn’t cover their hair. When I read that verse all I read is modesty. As for gender differences, something feels incredibly unfair to me. There are so many men flying all the way out to Turkey just to get PRP stem cells. Hair is an adornment for the men too Sayed, otherwise they wouldn’t be going to the extreme of avoiding baldness. And as for a woman’s beauty, Prophet Yusuf (a.s) never even had to cover his face, and the women cut their fingers off upon gazing at him. Again, I am not complaining. It feels constricting at times however. I just want to understand the ‘hair’ concept and how we can decipher how those verses apply to us and our time, because at that time the women already covered their hair. I am happy to hear of any ahadith that you might know of as well regarding this issue. Trust me Sayedna, I know the purpose of obeying is to just do it and not ask any questions. Prophet Ibrahim (a.s) obeyed Allah swt and almost sacrificed his son…Prophet Khidr obeyed Allah swt and literally killed a boy without questioning…a man from Khorasani went into the oven when Imam Sadek (a.s) commanded him without question while Haroon was hesitant. I am not trying to question the commandment. I am just trying to understand it because it feels that Allah swt is commanding modesty, rather than covering of the hair because Allah swt would surely have known a time will come when the head veils will come off, and maybe He would have emphasized women to KEEP that Khumar on before anything else. I feel like I lost my identity and myself with this head cover.

Thank you for your honesty and frankness. Some thoughts:

1- Many women in Arabia at the time would wear a head covering called a Khimaar. However, their Khimaar would not cover the upper chest area. The Qur’an commanded them to cover their chest area as well. If the Qur’an just wanted their bosom to be covered, it would simply have said cover your bosoms. The Qur’an specifically mentioned the Khimaar to indicate that the head must be covered too (and also the bosom). If the head doesn’t have to be covered, it was unnecessary to mention the Khimaar.

2- We have hadiths that confirm this. This hadith is from Imam al-Sadeq (a):

عن جعفرٍ (عليه السلام) سئل عمّا تظهر المرأة من زينتها قال: الوجه والكفين

The Imam says a woman must cover her entire body except for her face and hands.

In this hadith the Imam clearly mentions the hair:

عن أحمد بن محمد بن أبي نصر قال: سألت الرضا (عليه السلام) عن الرجل أيحل له أن ينظر إلى شعر اخت زوجته ؟ فقال: (لا إلاّ أن تكون من القواعد) قلت له: اخت امرأته والغريبة سواء قال : (نعم…)

So when you examine the verse, the tafsirs, and the hadiths, it is clear that Islam does command women to cover their hair.

3- Hair beautifies men too, so why don’t they have to cover it? True it does, but generally men react to the power of the visual in a different way than women do. This is based on their biology and how their brain functions. Please see this clip:


So honestly there is a difference.

4- It’s amazing how Allah has guided you to modesty. It seems to me that now with the hijab this is one your important life trials. I believe when you overcome this challenge, you will be a stronger person, and you will be able to guide many sisters in the community who struggle with the hijab. Possibly Allah is training you for that. Feel honored. I recommend you say La ilaha illa Allah 100 times each night (say it slowly and take a deep breath each time) and you will find how much strength this will give you.

5- I am sure you deeply love Sayeda Fatima (a) and Sayeda Zaynab (a). Imagine they visit you today and you go out with them. Between you and God, wouldn’t you think they’d want you to cover your hair? Wouldn’t they be proud of that? Sometimes we have to listen to our internal compass.

I understand it’s a big challenge. Families and societies are not really supportive. Be honored that Allah guided you to it. Be a role model for others. Know every day Allah is infinitely compensating you.