A friend of mine experiences their gender identity as fluid, many times fluctuating in identity between man and woman. What would their role in the family, and greater society be under Islam, which they intend upon converting to?

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If they are biological a male and have male sexual organs, encourage them to try and identify as a man (or of female than as a woman). Let them try their best and encourage them. Let him constantly remind himself that he is a man. Over time it should he effective Insha’Allah.