I am a divorced mother of two young children and I have extreme physical needs such that it gives me lower abdominal pain and also agitation which results in me not being the best mother I would like to be (ex. yelling at times when I can be more patient). I do understand that giving self pleasure is haram and seek Allah’s help. I have considered mut’ah but the risks outweigh the benefits as I am an emotional person and get attached and it will hurt me if it doesn’t work out for long term marriage. I have tried fasting but the urge is still there. What do you suggest to get rid of the physical urge since it’s so difficult to find the right person to marry.

Some recommendations:

1- Whenever you struggle with the desire or feel the urge, do wudhu, even if you do wudhu several times a day. It helps.

2- Change your diet. Eat less in general and try to reduce foods that are high in calories and in sugar or high in energy. Also, foods such as yogurt and sour foods like lemon help too.

3- Avoid anything that triggers the desire.

4- Try to exercise more.

5- Smell camphor. Occasionally go to the cemetery if you can.

I understand your concern about marrying someone temporarily, but it could still be a viable solution. If you come across a man who is kind, has a good nature, is understanding, then hopefully most problems and misunderstandings can be avoided, and you can have a stable relationship.

May Allah facilitate it for you.