I was doing research into Laylat ul-Qadr, and I saw an alarming hadith in al-Kafi:
"During the night of destiny, all things of good or evil, obedience or disobedience, birth or death, or sustenance that are to take place in the year up to the next month of Ramadan, are measured and determined. Whatever is measured and determined for that year becomes inevitable; however, Allah, the Most Majestic, the Most Glorious, has a wish in it.’ "

This hadith seems like it is supporting absolute pre-determinism and pre-destination, which I know we reject in the school of Ahl ul-Bayt.
I brought this up to an acquaintance and they said "Allah Azza wa Jal is outside of time & space, He already knows and has determined certain things." Then I asked them "Then where is there room for al-Bada' to occur?" and they could not give me an answer. Because we know Allah Azza wa Jal erases and rewrites our destinies based on our actions and situation, here's a hadith I love that I think demonstrates this perfectly:
Abu Ja’far (’Alayhi Salam) said:
A man from the Children of Israel had a son whom he used to love very much. He had a vision in his sleep and it was said to him: ‘Your son will die the very night that he enters upon his wife (i.e. on the wedding night)’. He (the Imam) said: when it was that night, and he consummated with her, the father believed that will happen, but he woke up finding his son well. His father came to him and said: O my son did you do anything of the good yesterday? He said: No. Except that a beggar came to the door and they had kept preserved for me some food and I gave it to the beggar. He (the father) said: Through this did Allah avert it (death) from you.

Mu'jam al-Ahadith al-Mutabara > Book of Divine Unity > Bada' (7) > Hadith #8

So I understand that Allah Azza wa Jal is outside of space and time, and if things are pre-determined in the way my friend said, where is the room for such al-Bada' to take place?

And lastly, could you explain Amr Bayn ul-Amrayn to me?
And then it's relationship to Laylat ul-Qadr. I fear I may have accidentally fallen into a Mu'tazilite mentality.

Sorry if my question sounds kind of jumbled, because I can't really string my words together due to me not quite understanding.

Very valid response. So here’s how we understand this issue:

1- On the night of destiny, Allah determines everything, but what He determines is based on many factors. One factor is your deeds. So let’s say it’s determined for me to get into a car accident this year. This is contingent and not final. If I do a good like charity, this will be “changed.” Hence, there is room for Bada’ and this would be an example of it. That which is determined on the Night of Destiny does not strip us from our free will. We still have free will.

2- As for the first hadith which states everything is predetermined even obedience or disobedience, then one way of understanding it is that all the paths/scenarios for them are determined. In the end, Allah has a system and we cannot change his system. His system is fixed and determined by Him. However, we have some room to maneuver in this system. A simple example is this: Allah has plan A, which is me not paying charity. It I don’t pay charity, I’ll get into that accident. But then there is plan B, which is me paying charity. If I pay it, I won’t get into that accident. Then there is plan C, which is me paying charity and serving my parents, which means will grant me X or Y. And so on. So all these “plans” are determined by Allah, as they are a part or his system, but I choose which plan to go with. Hopefully this example explains it.