I am embarrassed to say this, but today when I thought of Allah's SWT presence I got tense. I have been trying very hard constantly to do the wajibaat and avoid the haraam, but I feel like I have little to no success in some areas. This causes me to feel an ongoing sense of guilt, frustration, tension, and a low self esteem particularly when I remember Allah's SWT presence. No matter how hard I try, I never feel good enough for Allah SWT. Mind you I have been religious for over 6 years and watch Islamic lectures regularly to increase my understanding.

I understand that this life is a test and all and that Allah SWT is forgiving, but when I think of Allah SWT I think of the sins that I do and the wajibaat that I do not fulfill despite my great efforts to strive in Allah's SWT way. Its at that moment that all those feelings (guilt, frustration, low self worth, tension) come back. I am sure Islam is the right religion after doing my own research, but I feel like no matter how hard I try there are always sins that I do that I cannot avoid or wajibaat that I cannot fulfill. I have gone to great lengths and tried many different things to become a better Muslim, but despite my great and constant efforts I can never be good enough.

I am tired of feeling this way and tired of finding that my great efforts have little to no results. Islam feels like its too difficult sometimes because of this.

I need help please. I don't know what else to do at this point.