I am embarrassed to say this, but today when I thought of Allah's SWT presence I got tense. I have been trying very hard constantly to do the wajibaat and avoid the haraam, but I feel like I have little to no success in some areas. This causes me to feel an ongoing sense of guilt, frustration, tension, and a low self esteem particularly when I remember Allah's SWT presence. No matter how hard I try, I never feel good enough for Allah SWT. Mind you I have been religious for over 6 years and watch Islamic lectures regularly to increase my understanding.

I understand that this life is a test and all and that Allah SWT is forgiving, but when I think of Allah SWT I think of the sins that I do and the wajibaat that I do not fulfill despite my great efforts to strive in Allah's SWT way. Its at that moment that all those feelings (guilt, frustration, low self worth, tension) come back. I am sure Islam is the right religion after doing my own research, but I feel like no matter how hard I try there are always sins that I do that I cannot avoid or wajibaat that I cannot fulfill. I have gone to great lengths and tried many different things to become a better Muslim, but despite my great and constant efforts I can never be good enough.

I am tired of feeling this way and tired of finding that my great efforts have little to no results. Islam feels like its too difficult sometimes because of this.

I need help please. I don't know what else to do at this point.

Wslm my dear Brother
Ramadan Mubarak to you and all your loved ones. This is indeed an excellent question and there is nothing wrong with the question. I do understand how it feels when you expect certain result but without avail.
My humble advise to you is that you should not get discourage at all. Allah knows and sees your effort. Be rest assured your effort will not be in vain. Keep making the efforts and eventually the door of Allah’s presence in your heart would be eventually opened. Never think you are not good enough. You are good enough and Allah definitely appreciates your humble efforts.

Few suggestions

-Make sure to do more istigfar
– Recite and reflect on few verses of the Quran daily for softening of the heart
– Night prayers is also an excellent option to add in your basket of act of worship if you are able
– Go to Sajda now and then and ask for divine intervention.

Allah is forgiven and He will not let you down