I am having an issue where my parents are being unfair to my wife. We are living in their house which I am contributing towards as a son. I share the mortgage, pay for grocery, help wherever I can, and of course I also spend on my wife. My parents generally treat her unfairly.

This really frustrates me but whenever I talk about living separately to my parents they get offended although I think it actually will be healthy for us. I know they will struggle a bit with maintaining the house finances without me here, but they are making me and my wife’s life miserable.

My mother keeps guilt tripping me by saying "I raised you and this is how you’ve become, I will complain to Allah on the day of judgment" etc. My only aim in life is to please Allah and the Imam, but I keep having this inside feeling that by moving out, because my parents will be upset I will be cursed and lose the barakah in my life. I don’t have the ability to sustain them AND my own house if I move out, but they have almost left me with no option.

Can you give me any advice? Will I be committing a bad deed by moving out from my parents house? I ofcourse would not cut off from them, that is not my aim I just feel healthy distance is what we need.
Would I be making Allah and the Imam displeased by making my parents upset? I feel like I may be walking to my doom by moving out and losing their prayers for me.

by

May Allah facilitate this matter for you. You are not obligated to stay with your parents. If you tried everything to bring a positive atmosphere and nothing is working with your parents, then you can move out. However, you must exert a great amount of effort to reduce their disappointment and to make them happy. Kiss your mother’s hands every time you see her. Buy her gifts. Show her how much you love her. Let her know by moving out you’ll be able to spend more quality time with her. If you are able to achieve this then move out.

However, if this is going to severely hurt them and cause major tension with them, then I would not recommend it. Be patient for now and find creative ways to make things more positive between your wife and mother.

May Allah bless you