I don’t know how I can love a woman/wife and still have Allah (SWT) at my heart.

And I don’t know how am I supposed to get married or have something and at the same time have Allah (SWT) in my heart.

But at end, I decided I’d prefer to remain alone and have Allah (SWT) then to have someone and not having Allah (SWT) fully in my heart, because I then remembered a Hadith that said, if Allah (SWT) sees that even 1% of my heart is for someone else, then He doesn’t want the 99% and gives it to the other person. So I don’t know how am I supposed to find a balance.

I can’t have Allah (SWT) 50% and the other person 50%, Allah (SWT) would just not be there.

And I can’t have 100% the other person and Allah (SWT) 0%.

So I find myself in this dilemma, and I don’t know what to do.

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Allah has commanded us to get married and love our spouse. There are two types of love: “vertical” and “horizontal.” Horizontal love means you love something besides God. You love something that distracts you from Allah, from the Hereafter, from your obligations, and from worship. This should be avoided.

But then we have vertical love. Vertical love means you love something because Allah wants you to love it/them. For example, we love the Ahlulbayt (a), right? Our love for them doesn’t take us away from Allah. It actually brings us closer to Him because they invite us to Allah. They take us up to Allah. They are in the path of Allah.

Now Allah has commanded us to get married the halal way. When you believer gets married, he has these points in mind:

1- I’m marrying for the sake of Allah
2- I’ll dedicate my marriage to His obedience, not Donya
3- I will avoid anything haram in this marriage
4- Everyday I will thank Allah for blessing me with a spouse

Such thinking won’t reduce your love for God. Such marriage will be based on your love for Allay, and this is positive and healthy.

Let me give you another example. Let’s say you have a very dear friend. You love him to death. He gets married and has children. Because you love your friend, you start loving his children. You respect them and adore them. Will this make your friend upset? Absolutely not. He’ll get happy. Why? Because your love for his children is based on your love for him. This is a type of “vertical” love.