Your love for Allah and Ahlul bait is cherished and valued by Allah and the Ahlul bait. Allah loves you and He doesn’t want you to be negative and think of taking your life. Take care of yourself, your family and keep loving Allah and the Ahlul bait. All shall be well Insha Allah.
The Qur’an teaches us not to give up hope in Allah. Always be positive. Imam zaman is an Imam of bleedings and his blessings will prevail during his reappearance.
Consider the following practical steps:
1. Keep Wudhu at all time if you can
2. Recite Qur’an now and then especially chapter Rahman. Don’t forget to read the English translation
3. Spend quality time with your parents and family.
4. Reach out to those in need by doing charity
5. Seek advise from medical experts when you continue to feel like that
Allah is Great and He will make it easy for you