I have recently found a suitable match for marriage however my parents are unwilling to support me as she is not from the same culture as I am. I have explain there are innumerable narrations regarding the permissibility of Inter-cultural marriages and the impermissibility of denying marriage on the grounds of culture and race. However, I would like some advice in order to help convince my parents to accept such a marriage – I am aware marriage without the permission of a male’s parents is permissible, but I would still like their support.

My mother feels she will not find any commonality due to differences in food and culture. She also said a child must have an absolute duty to their parents, therefore, the choice of marriage does not fall upon the child. She had also previously stated that emulating some examples of the A’immah (asws) is impossible. I am unsure how to respond to my mother’s point-of-view

1) You must impress upon them that it is reported that the Prophet (sawa) said that if you find a potential spouse for your child who is a believer and has good ethics then marry them. Thus, these are the criteria that we must use. Try to convince them by explaining this, and that the inflallibles married women from all different places and cultures

2) There is no such thing as absolute duty to one’s parents, otherwise we would have to obey them in every matter, even sinful things (Allah forbid). Yes, we must respect and listen to them, however they are not allowed to rule over and decide a child’s life because every human being is free. It is true we cannot completely follow the perfect example of the Imams, but we must try, and at least live by its philosophy.