I have two grown up boys. I am divorced from their dad, this happened when they were very young. Prior to this marriage I was forced to marry a cousin. I requested a divorce immediately which I got. Then I married my boys dad, my heart was not in it but I married him as I wanted children. Unfortunately it didn’t work out so I got divorced. I was a single parent for a very long time but still wanted a life partner. I then got married to someone of my choice but he divorced me within a year. Then a year ago I again got married and he has lost interest and does not want to be with me. I’m feeling so hurt and don’t understand why I am longing for a life partner even after all my experience. I pray Allah removes the longing in my heart for a partner as this is something I have always had in my heart since I was young, yet everytime I got a partner things have always turned against me.

I think you need to focus on your relationship with Allah swt. Build this relationship with Him. I'm really sorry about your marriage breakups. Try and get closer to Allah and seek His guidance. Do not blame yourself for all that has happened. Maybe it has made you reflect on your life.