This is just if the father is in need, and his son is not supporting him. In this case, he can take his needs from his son's money, with no need for permission.
With regard to Kafan, yes, if both died on same time, and he can provide only one kafan, then the wife is the eligible, not the mother, because the wife expenses are forefront compared to parents, while the obedience of the parents is forefront compared to the wife.