……………. I want to be with my mother as I am only person in her life. But now it seems going to the hawza is an obligation (because I might be the only one that is willing to do it). What should I do?

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In this case, I will advise not to rush since you have your mom to take care of. What you can do in the meantime is to enroll online with some the Hauzas we have either in iran ( al-Mostafa International university) or in london ( Islamic University college of london).

This will be a step toward achieving your aim while you are at your comfort zone taking care of your family for now.