I was discussing sects with my mother a couple days ago and she told me that she would never forgive me if I convert to shi’ism behind her back and that made a huge wave of guilt wash over me, but subhan Allah it really wouldn’t make sense for any religion or sect to be the true path. Honestly I still feel quite shaken about the fact that I have to hide a big part of me from my entire family, and I don’t even know how I would bring it to them that I don’t want to marry a sunni in the future (for context, a shia man had proposed before and my father absolutely rejected him once he found out he’s shia, and never even got to know him. He sadly based off his hatred on his belief. To be honest after converting we got back in contact, but I feel like I’m betraying my family and that I might lose them one day and this is a truth I find so difficult to come to terms with). I know life is all about trials, but this year had been so stressful emotionally, financially and now even religiously. I am trying to have patience and improve my relationship with Allah SWT but it’s honestly quite difficult from all aspects

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I ask Allah to help you and facilitate it for you. Some recommendations:

1- Be patient. Your trial requires patience and strength. Take it step by step.

2- Remember that Allah comes before your family. If you rationally cane to believe in the path of Ahlulbayt (a), and you are certain about that, then that comes before your family or anything else in existence. One of our most difficult trials in life is our family. We love them and sacrifice for them, but Allah and the truth come before them. So many people in history did not follow the truth because they didn’t want to lose their family.

3- Increase your Yaqeen in the Shia school of thought so you can be more confident. I recommend seeing these if you have not already:

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrK-FXb0E44vf3_R3FmHzjXyLhbjT6O6s

https://youtu.be/5MfXAdiF0tM

https://youtu.be/-xnGGqgRY9w

4- Don’t inform your family you are Shia. One day when circumstances are more suitable you can inform them. There is nothing wrong in hiding that. You are not hiding to deceive anyone—you are hiding to protect your beliefs. That’s completely acceptable.

5- I recommend you postpone marriage for now until you are in a better and stronger position to inform your family that you are Shia or that you want to marry a Shia. Maybe now it will cause excessive stress on you.

I ask Allay to facilitate it for you and guide you every step of the way.