Please do not loose hope in Allah's mercy.
Has anything changed in your life recently in terms of your spirituality? Best way is to get some time out on reflections and pondering. Give yourself time to think and meditate atleast 10 minutes a day, focus on your breaths, silence the mind. After Salaat recite istighfar and ponder on how to return back to Allah swt. InshaAllah, Allah swt will open doors for you