When I was about (removed) years old I was sexually molested, it went on until I think I was (removed) and/or (removed). My dad passed away when I was (removed) so all this began after his death. When I was (removed), I started watching pornography nonstop. I watched it all the time. I don’t remember how many times a week I did but I got hooked on it. I became very depressed and I watch till this day. I tried to stop watching it for a month and it worked, but I gave in sometime this week and watched. The feeling it gives me after I finish is repulsive and I don’t want to feel this way. I am aware that this bad habit of mine is blocking my blessings. I’ve never been in love, I never had a serious relationship before. I want to meet someone soon but in order for that to happen I want to heal and I want to get rid of this disgusting habit. Please do not judge me.

I am so sorry to hear your problem. It is seriously painful however this world is the world of test. Everyone goes through certain serious difficult times, but my beloved daughter, with the help of Allah swt one, can get through these crisis.
Make a pact with Allah swt, you want something from Him swt and He wants you to stop this bad habit. Ask Almighty swt to help you and stop this immediately and He will give you what you want. Think of Imam Hussain AS and Lady Zainab AS, if they know that you are watching these forbidden films, how will that be on their hearts. Lady Zainab AS went through a lot of serious crisis but yet showed us that we can have Sabr and patience.
If you feel you have become addicted and cannot stop immediately, then you can wean your self from it slowly. Reduce the time you are watching and the frequency of your watching every week, and so on. I will pray for you and you also pray and put efforts to stop this forbidden act. May Allah swt help you seek forgiveness and give you the strength to stop this evil act.