Please seek counsel from anyone who is wise in your elders. Can you speak to a scholar in your community? Also you need to really know the intention behind marriage. Why are you getting married to him? is it for Allah swt pleasure or for your own desires? You also need to break out from the cultural norms that are opposite to Islam. I'm sorry I cannot advise more than this as you need to ponder on the essence of marriage. Take examples from Holy Prophet saww and his family. Take counsel, think about everything, than take Istakhara if need be.