When we go out he buys me stuff to drink etc. But as he has been here he has not offered to pay when we have been grocery shopping. However he did buy my mom a perfume on her bday. I know these examples might be very cultural but i really need advice as I have no experience in life. His dad is going to pay for the wedding and whatever gifts we get from the grooms side (money) his dad qill get it. My mom says it is supposed to be for us. She thinks it sounds like his parents control him alot. I’m so confused and now she says she is concerned for me mainly because of his family. I feel like my heart aches when i think about us not getting married and it makes me want to cry but on the other hand I’m so confused.

Please seek counsel from anyone who is wise in your elders. Can you speak to a scholar in your community? Also you need to really know the intention behind marriage. Why are you getting married to him? is it for Allah swt pleasure or for your own desires? You also need to break out from the cultural norms that are opposite to Islam. I'm sorry I cannot advise more than this as you need to ponder on the essence of marriage. Take examples from Holy Prophet saww and his family. Take counsel, think about everything, than take Istakhara if need be.