Why is music haram ? what is the valid reason,as it puts many to peace also (lahaul bilaquat illa billa mishaytanir rajeem)

Salam.
Initially, it may seem unrealistic that any pleasing or harmonious sound could be forbidden and one will be given such a painful punishment for indulging in such a thing, but there is no need to be amazed.
Many verses and traditions point out why ghina ie music is forbidden.
In.short it brings about shamelessness in a person and shaitan overwhelms one listening to it such that he or she starts performing all the satanic acts such as lustful acts and so forth. The intellectual capacity of the person is also reduced and animalistic desires are overtaken. It effects the nervous system also and causes many aliments like high blood pressure and heart problems.
In short, one will be oblivious about the rememberance of Allah and his real aim in life. This infact disrupts the peace within him.
I suggest you read the book "status of Music in Islam" by Saleem Bhimji. This book is available online.
I pray you overcome this feeling that Music is too pleasurable to forego.

What should someone do if they are being distracted from their wife by being attracted to/ thinking about their wife's sister. if sometimes they wish they had proposed to her instead of their wife because she is a better person and better looking than her. there's nothing they can do as they are married so they want to stop feeling this way and also want their wife to somehow start looking the best in their eyes

One of the things about life is that there are always temptations out there that shaitan lays for us. If you're unhappy in your relationship then it might not necessarily be your feelings for your sister in law, maybe you need to resolve with your wife by talking to her. If you talk to her lovingly and let her know that you don't want to loose her, and that she has to try to make you feel that in every way, be it physically or emotionally, then im sure she will do so. Be patient and try your best at the same time. Your efforts will surely pay.
All married women would like to secure their marriage and your wife is no exception.
At the same time, you have to completely refrain thinking of anyone else specially her sister. Try to avoid any kind of meetings or confrontations by excusing yourself and seeking refuge in Allah from shaitan. Don't let anything remind you about her if you wish to keep your marriage and not do anything forbidden.
In Islam, you cant marry two sisters at the same time so if you end up separating with one sister for the other, just imagine the repurcussion of not only breaking a marriage, but also breaking the hearts of two siblings and the family bond they share.
You really have to focus on your marriage. If you focus elsewhere the marriage can't work. All relationships go through ups and downs but if one tries his best and wants to keep his marriage especially for the sake of Allah, then he surely will get the result of his efforts as promised by Allah Himself.
Remember, this is probably just a phase that you might be going through but never give in to the false temptation. Consider it small compared to the great things in life that Allah has created us for, like the ultimate love we should have for Allah only and all his creatures for His sake, and attachment to the Holy Prophet and his pure progeny, how Allah wants perfection for us through knowledge and practice like patience and thankfulness, and how we should have great aims in life to achieve these perfections.
If you really can't figure out how to get your relationship with your wife back on track, talk with a therapist or better still, a learned and experienced person and and get some advice, but don't just let it linger because shaitan will take over step by step until he makes you do something drastic which you will always regret.

Can you please explain why people call najaf e ASHRAF and kaba SHAREEF?

Najaf is also known as Najafe Ashraf ie the The Most Noble city of Najaf.
After the Holy Prophet a.s , Imam Ali being the most Noble and excellent of Mankind resided in this Holy city. He practised all the teachings of Allah and the last prophet s.a.w. so wherever he laid his footsteps upon of course becomes the most Noble too.
As for Kaaba known to be Shareef ie Noble, it is a title that is not mentioned anywhere in the Holy Quran where we have Baytul Mamoor, Baytul ateeq, and so forth. Comparing both Kaaba and Najaf being Noble and Most Noble is not the right thing because each one carry a special status although it is the presence of.the most Noble of.mankind that we will.come to.know about the significance of the Kaaba and Allah Himself has approved of this in so.many.verses of the Noble Quran!

How does one tell loved ones that you can’t attend a birthday celebration, as it is Muharram?

The month of Muharram is indeed a month of mourning, and azadari is a slogan of Allah. To uphold this sacred slogan, we need to show that to all around us by attending azadari especially.
The right thing would to politely excuse yourself because the love of the Holy Prophet and His pure progeny carries more importance in your heart than even the nearest kith and kin. Try to remain very polite and also send your gift or visit them later on.
If you know for sure it would lead to severing family relations, and you're aware that there's no sin like mixed gathering or music, you can go for a few minutes and pray for the person.
The verse of the Holy Quran clearly states this in sura Tawba ayat 24.
Tell them, (O Prophet): "If your fathers and your sons and your brothers and your wives and your tribe and the riches you have acquired and the commerce of which you fear a slackening, and the dwellings that you love, if they are dearer to you than Allah and His Messenger and striving in His cause, then wait until Allah brings about His decree. Allah does not guide the evil-doing folk."

Meri 5 saal ki beti nain sawal kiya ki jab Allah swt Imam Hussain as ko pyar kartay they unko itni berahmi se shaheed kaisay honay diya. Aur kya issey accha koi aur tareeqa nahin tha deen ko bachanay ka.
main usko kya jawab doon.

The love of Ahl bayt a.s. is the greatest asset we can ever have and pass on to the next generation specially our progeny to start off with.
Take it as a good sign that your five year old was concerned about Imam Hussein a s. and had to ask you this question.
You can explain you daughter going step by step with short sentences like,
Imam Hussein really loved Allah and out of this love, he promised he will do all that he can and should to.make people become good the way Allah wants.
He promised to Allah that he will be the best servant.
He knew that some people in this world are not good and infact very evil so whilst he was doing his best to guide them, they killed him.
Although he had all the powers to stop that, and also help was sent by Allah through thousands of Angles, but he wanted to do it with his own strength and energy like the normal people to show.them that they can keep.their promise to Allah in difficult times and be the best of servants even if they would face some kind of danger.
This way, Allah now has made him to be so beloved near everyone that until today we are remembering and crying for him.
This also shows how Allah loves him.

I live with my mother and 2 children. My mother is a very good person she has always helped others during her healthy life but at the same time she tried to dominate and interfere in people's life too. She didn't have a happy relationship with my father since her early 50's as she was never satisfied by anyone. She has a basic nature that whatever she does is only correct. My father was always very hurt with her attitude. My father passed away 1.5 years ago . I got scared of losing her too so I always want to keep my mother fit n fine. I regularly take her to doctor and give her medicines on time. I take her out for outings too but she is never happy. She is always unhappy and dissatisfied . Yesterday she didn't take her medicines and somehow I lost my cool and shouted like hell on the poor old lady. She got a hysterical attack and she too started shouting and hitting me. I was shouting equally with her but didn't react to her hitting me but suddenly while shouting her face started turning red n blue so to get her back to her senses I slapped her hard on her cheek. She came back to her senses and started shouting again. Then I got mellow down and explained her that I dont want to lose her thats why I created a scene and shouted at her. My mother told me that she will never forgive me. After few minutes both of us cried a lot remembering my father. ..and I kept my head on her feet and explained her the reason of my outrage and asked for repentance from her. She hugged me and told me that " Allah ko hazir maan ke maine tum ko maaf kiya beta". I am not able to forget and forgive my self at all. What should I do now to get forgiveness from my mother and Allah and Panjatan and my Imams.

Its great to realize the worth of your Mother and to take care of her although to attain the pleasure of Allah through the process can be quite of a challenge specially with the attitude your mum has.
Remember however much you wish to be protective about her, but in the end, life and death lies in the hands of Allah.
He has a plan for each one of His creatures and tests them according to their own capabilities.
If you are kind and caring to you parent, for sure you won't boss around and always make her feel she is above you so therefore do your duty to the best as far as caring is concerned and after that leave the result on Allah.
Your intense guilt towards the harshness to your mother shows that you are never going to make that mistake again and her forgiveness for you is the first thing to be hopeful that Allah has forgiven you too.
Dwelling on it will make you feel hopelessness and shaitan wants that you should feel this way so that you can add to your sins. Being despondent of Allah's mercy is nothing but a satanic ruse.
Try your best to please her and always keep calm with her. If she is paranoid and negative, your duty is to politely explain her without raising your voice and be positive even if it sounds pretentious.
If you're steadfast in this manner, itll affect both your lives for the better inshallah.

My son has started communicating with me. Today he called up n said that he went out for lunch yesterday and his friends made him consume a cocktail which had beer which he was not knowing. I'm sure that my son is lying and he has consumed beer knowingly. Now I don't know how to deal with him. I just hate him. I sometimes feel what a failed mother I am.

We all know that in every step of life, there is a challenge for us. When a mother brings up her child, she realizes this all the more because of wanting the best for her child especially if she believes in the hereafter because she wants the best for her child there too.
Likewise, you are feeling a hatred out of love for your son. Its quite obvious that you are concerned that he should have the benefits of this world as well as earn the pleasure of Allah and benefit from the next world too. Therefore there's work to be done.
Play your role of being a concerned mother for your son. You will not be able to.make things better if you Nag or show hatred to him. Face the confrontation if he has resolved with you and wanting to keep good relations. Count this as the first step that at least your son has realized the fact that a mother is of great importance in his life by now talking to you.
It is very unlikely that a mother hates her child and even if you think it is so, deep down if you ask your self, you will find out that you love him and want him to be a great Muslim.
Your not wanting to live is not in your choice, for you are the property of Allah and He will decide that. Life is a free gift and we only live once in this world. Allah wants us to taste the pleasure of loving Him through all these tests like the one you're facing right now..
Be brave and try your best to be compassionate with your son. Slowly he will begin to trust you and appreciate your concerns.
You can arrange some good meetings with the people who can change your sons life by having healthy conversation and probably advising him on the side.
Mentally prepare yourself that this is going to be painstaking and a struggle. Remember Allah will surely give you the answer to your struggle and this is His principle for all the humankind whether they be believers or not. In the end, the beleivers will procure the most of benefits.
Read on.how to deal with the youth too and listen to some good lectures on that. They're so many available online.
inshAllah with time you will get your results if you're set on your goal and are steadfast in that.

I want to make my son eat khaq e shifa till aashura so that it heals him from insanity. How should I make him eat? Is it necessary to recite the big dua while making him eat it. Pls help . In these days of Moharram this khaq e shifa will clean his physical and spiritual health and grant him freedom from Shaytan. In Sha Allah. This is what I believe.

Imam Hussein enjoys a very high station near Allah and traditions are narrated that the dust around his sanctuary will cure all illnesses., These include the deseases of the soul as well as the body.
This blessed Turbah should be greatly respected and special ettiqutte should be followed to achieve maximum benefit from it.
The right way is to just take very little of it and mix it with as much water as you like, and you can benefit from reciting the dua before consuming it too even in his absence before he takes it.
Every action done with a sincere intention will certainly have its positive effect. Therefore, if you yearn for your sons guidance and give him the water without his knowledge, it will inshAllah cure him.
However, some scholar's have the opinion that if one doesn't have the love of Imam Hussein in his heart or doesn't have faith on his intercession even in this world, he will not get its benefit. There should be a respect for the beloved Imam for any result to be shown, be it in the presence of the one who is ill or even in his absence.
Many non Muslims have known to be cured by the miraculous turbah and although they didn't have faith in the religion of Allah, however they carried a respect in their hearts for Imam Hussein a.s.
Thus, if you can try to inculcate this love and respect of Ahl bayt a.s in your son's heart then inshAllah he will change even before taking the Turbah.
In any case, you have guardianship over your son since you have the honour of being his mother so you can do the best that you know will carry its positive effect.
Know that a mothers prayer for her child reaches acceptance so you have to do your best in all ways then leave the rest on Allah.
Allah finds excuses to guide and forgive His servants so you need not worry after trying your best and persisting in the best way possible.

My son has started communicating with me. Today he called up n said that he went out for lunch yesterday and his friends made him consume a cocktail which had beer which he was not knowing. I'm sure that my son is lying and he has consumed beer knowingly. Now I don't know how to deal with him. I just hate him. I sometimes feel what a failed mother I am.

We all know that in every step of life, there is a challenge for us. When a mother brings up her child, she realizes this all the more because of wanting the best for her child especially if she believes in the hereafter because she wants the best for her child there too.
Likewise, you are feeling a hatred out of love for your son. Its quite obvious that you are concerned that he should have the benefits of this world as well as earn the pleasure of Allah and benefit from the next world too. Therefore there's work to be done.
Play your role of being a concerned mother for your son. You will not be able to.make things better if you Nag or show hatred to him. Face the confrontation if he has resolved with you and wanting to keep good relations. Count this as the first step that at least your son has realized the fact that a mother is of great importance in his life by now talking to you.
It is very unlikely that a mother hates her child and even if you think it is so, deep down if you ask your self, you will find out that you love him and want him to be a great Muslim.
Your not wanting to live is not in your choice, for you are the property of Allah and He will decide that. Life is a free gift and we only live once in this world. Allah wants us to taste the pleasure of loving Him through all these tests like the one you're facing right now..
Be brave and try your best to be compassionate with your son. Slowly he will begin to trust you and appreciate your concerns.
You can arrange some good meetings with the people who can change your sons life by having healthy conversation and probably advising him on the side.
Mentally prepare yourself that this is going to be painstaking and a struggle. Remember Allah will surely give you the answer to your struggle and this is His principle for all the humankind whether they be believers or not. In the end, the beleivers will procure the most of benefits.
Read on.how to deal with the youth too and listen to some good lectures on that. They're so many available online.
inshAllah with time you will get your results if you're set on your goal and are steadfast in that.

I want to make my son eat khaq e shifa till aashura so that it heals him from insanity. How should I make him eat? Is it necessary to recite the big dua while making him eat it. Pls help . In these days of Moharram this khaq e shifa will clean his physical and spiritual health and grant him freedom from Shaytan. In Sha Allah. This is what I believe.

Imam Hussein enjoys a very high station near Allah and traditions are narrated that the dust around his sanctuary will cure all illnesses., These include the deseases of the soul as well as the body.
This blessed Turbah should be greatly respected and special ettiqutte should be followed to achieve maximum benefit from it.
The right way is to just take very little of it and mix it with as much water as you like, and you can benefit from reciting the dua before consuming it too even in his absence before he takes it.
Every action done with a sincere intention will certainly have its positive effect. Therefore, if you yearn for your sons guidance and give him the water without his knowledge, it will inshAllah cure him.
However, some scholar's have the opinion that if one doesn't have the love of Imam Hussein in his heart or doesn't have faith on his intercession even in this world, he will not get its benefit. There should be a respect for the beloved Imam for any result to be shown, be it in the presence of the one who is ill or even in his absence.
Many non Muslims have known to be cured by the miraculous turbah and although they didn't have faith in the religion of Allah, however they carried a respect in their hearts for Imam Hussein a.s.
Thus, if you can try to inculcate this love and respect of Ahl bayt a.s in your son's heart then inshAllah he will change even before taking the Turbah.
In any case, you have guardianship over your son since you have the honour of being his mother so you can do the best that you know will carry its positive effect.
Know that a mothers prayer for her child reaches acceptance so you have to do your best in all ways then leave the rest on Allah.
Allah finds excuses to guide and forgive His servants so you need not worry after trying your best and persisting in the best way possible.

My father passed away on 6th Moharram in 2016. Can I recite surah e fateha on my father within first 10 days of Moharram. In Lucknow it is not allowed to recite surah e fateha on your loved ones as these are days for only Moula.

It is highly recommended to mourn for Imam Hussein and his near and dear ones on the months of Muharram and Safar and infact all through the year. There is no grief comprehendible like grieving for the Prophet and his.pure progeny. It is also recommended that if one were to cry for their lost ones, they should remember the Ahlbayt a.s and also cry for them. This makes the bereavement reach higher reward and acceptance.
It is completely alright to remember your near and dear ones by praying and reciting Fateha for them and the best way is to first grant your prayers as a gift to the Ahlbayt a.s who will then in turn give the reward to the deceased in a complete and perfect way as suggested by great scholars.
In any case, reciting fateha for your father is still a great reward because the words and prayers are from no other source but the Almighty Allah whom the Ahlbayt were united with so it is also a way to earn their pleasure.

I was recently (3 months ago) approached by a boy (a friend) for marriage who had asked permission for his mother to speak to my mother. We are the same age (22) and just graduated. From what I have judged in the past two years, he is a decent man, staunch lover of Ahlulbait and of good character. But since he has just graduated he is currently jobless. I spoke to my parents about it and told them that I was interested in the proposal. The boy intends on starting his job from February. But my parents (rightly so, I suppose) got really angry as to why would he send a proposal when he doesn't even have a job. I tried to make them understand that Allah is the provider of rizq and if he has a good character they should atleast give it a chance. But they have completely refused. For one other reason that his Father has an influential job. Due to one bad experience in the past they are afraid that influential people like these can turn out to be a nuance for you and they are not good people. Furthermore, the inquiry about the guy or his family is not readily available; which is another reason they aren't taking any interest. I had suggested they read istekhara, but they refused saying you can't read istekhara unless you've put in efforts yourself to inquire first and haven't gotten any response.
Where I understand their concerns as my parents but I genuinely like the guy and would like to make things halal with him.
Can you please guide me through this?

You must be aware that Islam has given the full right of guardianship to a father to make important decisions in life for his daughter, specially when it comes to marriage.
You may have seen many right qualities in the spouse that you have selected for yourself but your father is not wrong to want to find out about the boy and his family.
Remember, it is only to your benefit and advantage that he wants to inquire more about the boy.
This is due to his experience and concern that he has for you.
It doesn't hurt if you have to go out of your way and get all the necessary whereabouts as to how you can go about the process of finding out about the boy and his family.
If at all there are some things that your father doesn't like about his family and you can handle them, convince your father or even take some assistance from your close relatives who are able to talk to him. Let them remind him that your choice for spouse selection is done with the right criteria and Alhamdulillah the boy will soon start his job and able to support you financially also. If the marriage transpires and he is supported by his parents for a while, there's nothing wrong with that as long as there is no forbidden act.
If all this is not possible at all, and he is confused after trying his best, then you could go for an istekhara and see the outcome.
inshAllah if he is the right man for you, everything will happen in its right time and place with your prayers and efforts.

However, is it (islamically) right to reject a proposal based on assumptions determined by one bad past experience and to generalize it to all? Kindly let me know what is the ruling in Islam about such matters.

No it isnt Islam always wants peace and harmony between people and therefore one has to have husne zann (good opinion) about his fellow Muslims.
one past mistake done will not mean they haven't repented. Benefit of doubt has to be given until there is some kind of proof.